starlet sensibility and thursday

the shame about writing is that i can never sit and do it when the desire arises. all these great rants that i feel tend to come and go so quickly, all that i can muster out are a few sentences mildly recapping my once eager furor. i've been thinking a lot lately about the waiting to talk phenomena. so many people that i talk to never ask a question during a dialogue. it so tends to be a nodding monologue. . . i can do that myself at home. i'm not much of a drinker, never was. I can drink but i really need to be in the mood to get hammered. i can't hold my liquor. it's also not a reliable inebriation. the amount of alcohol is not always ratioed correctly with the level of uncoordination that ensues. . . random thoughts

i'm so sick of my job lately. i've been doing the same desk monkey crap for what is coming up on five years, and it pains me to assist the machine further. job security is such a double edged sword. sure you can stay where you are, but you have to stay where you are. it's not always that easy to answer. it would be so less complicated if i had a nest egg to sit on. i used up that moving. and now i'm moved, the money is gone, and a couple months in, the pattern starts over, with mild deviation.

i think about the beach/mild climates, i think about the lack of self awareness that comes from being somewhere as a temporary visitor, the ability to completely become enthralled, lost in thought, activity, because of the lack of familiarity. the mind is awash with activity, because all decisions and questions require thinking answers at first, no facet of the rut follows you (if you're lucky) i think about the pink floyd "goodbye blue sky" and nirvana "all apologies" medley that i've been working on in my head, seamlessly moving between the songs back and forth. should be cool when i'm done.

the culture of celebrity is amazing in it's ability to prey upon the human desire to be known (fame) and use such a fictional barrier to push it's agenda. famous people are regular people that me know because of media. and since we know them, they are famous. put on a pedestal for usually no particular reason. isn't everyone good at something?

when i get off on a tangent it tends to be quickly stated and dismissed after processed as too tangent to continue with. such as the last statement. we are all guilty of falling into the celebrity cult at one time or another. think of a celebrity you think is attractive, bam, you just fell into it. did lindsay lohan get her breasts reduced? most likely. i don't think i've ever seen her act or perfom in anything, and quite honestly, i could care less, but the celebrity gossip mill about such a trivial celebrity whim is enough to spark fervid lowkey gossip about it. sex sells people. i tell ya the smartest thing an up-and-coming celebrity can do is get her breasts done, it creates instant chatter, ie, interest.
(for the record, based on the photos i've seen, lindsay did have her breasts ridiculously enlarged, and then reduced. . . and for the record, it was a stupid move, better to be known as the young, talentless starlet with the comically oversized rack than as a medium level pinup swilling G-Rated happy endings for disney, teething with conservitive edits.)

tired of writing now.